Reflection

The last few days have been cause for reflection.

In part because Rob's grandma just passed away, causing me to realize how fragile life is. It also feels like the end of an era. It's difficult to watch these people who were constants in your life age. It's hard to watch their bodies begin to fail, when they were so strong for you when you were young. And yet, the release of this body is such a sweet release as they are reunited with so many loved ones who have gone before.

I've also been reflecting a lot on pregnancy. Pregnancy comes with too many side effects to name, most of which are just not fun. It has never been a comfortable time for me. However, this time I am finding more beauty in it. Perhaps because we wanted this baby for so long. Or perhaps God knows I need this at this time. Our bodies are miraculous and obviously created by God to be able to work so intricately. I've been faced with a lot of worries and fears this pregnancy (most of them self-inflicted and with no foundation besides my over-active imagination and my crazy nightmares). I've had some internal battles between faith and fear. I'm realizing that I need to make more of an effort to build my faith so it can conquer my worries. I also need to keep counting my blessings.

My pains have been remarkably subdued. I am not exactly sure what to attribute that to, but suffice it to say that I know Heavenly Father loves me and each day I feel well is a blessing.

Our summer is in full swing (with 100 degree temperatures). I think it has been a little difficult for our youngest as he was used to having me and the house all to himself each morning. That, and we've had to baby his arm. But overall, we are all really enjoying having more time to spend together. I cleared the majority of our schedule in anticipation of my pregnancy, so life feels much simpler. It really is a gift to be simple.

I am loving my calling (volunteer "job" in our church) as the primary secretary. I can do much from home and I've always loved details. But most of all, I love those children. You'd think after spending 9 of the last 12 years in primary that it would get monotonous. Maybe that time will come, but for now, I am so happy my pains have subsided enough that I can keep serving there. I love hearing the simple yet powerful faith in the little children's prayers. I love when they tell me about their week because they know I care. I love when they sing about their Savior. I can only hope they feel a tiny glimpse of his love through me.

I have a few goals for this coming week. I want to spend more time on my knees in prayer. I want to spend less time in my "grumpy pregnancy state." I want to show my children how much I appreciate and love them. Especially in the wake of realizing how fragile and precious life is. I also want to teach them how to play Settlers of Catan. =) Oh, and I really want to stop taking Zofran for morning sickness...hasn't this gone on long enough??

Does anyone even read blog posts if they don't have pictures...?