A New Normal

We are reaching a new normal. It's a happy normal with a baby that sleeps well at night. It's also an isolating normal. Never in my life have I been less busy. It's so different having a baby with a large gap. As I've pondered on how things are going, I've come to a few conclusions. First of all, having a baby again is such a joy. His smiles, coos, and self-discovery are so exciting to watch. Rocking him to sleep feel natural and fulfilling. He brings a special spirit into our home and it has an effect on all of us. Second of all, the days get lonely sometimes. I was trying to figure out why it feels this way and I realized a few things - every other time I've had a baby, I've been surrounded (whether in apartments or family housing) by other stay-at-home-moms-of-young-children-while-our-husbands-go-to-school. You know, those times when you can just walk outside and find other adults to talk to (and your kids have built-in friends to play with). This time around, most of my friends don't have babies and a lot of them don't even have kids at home. They are all leading busy lives - you know, the life I led last year - room parent, school newsletter, primary secretary, school volunteer (I even won a volunteer recognition), coupon clipper, fieldtrip chaperone, errand runner, lunch date, soccer mom, gym goer, etc. I guess I partly defined myself in those roles and really enjoyed the friendships that evolved because of those things. I also enjoyed being with the older kids in their school settings. Now, life is calm. It evolves in 2 1/2 hour increments depending on what Nathan needs. My pregnancy forced us to slow way down - the kids can even walk to piano and voice lessons, church activities, cub scouts, chess club, school, etc. I don't necessarily need the car during the day and honestly, I'm not sure my back can handle Nathan's carseat during errands. So we are home. A lot. Part of this is my own doing (maybe most of it) because we've been trying so hard to protect Nathan from germs. I could do more to invite people over. And part of it just comes with a new baby. But I miss those days of walking out the door and having instant friends. Once Nathan is older, I'm sure we'll start going to playgroups, etc. In fact, there are lots of things I am looking forward to getting to do again. Here are a few: BYU preschool, Einstein bagel dates with a toddler, going on walks (we are soooooo close to having warm enough weather), library storytimes (can you believe I used to run one of these at our Community Center in Seattle?), reading board books, watching Super Why, feeding ducks, eating macaroni and cheese, playing at parks, visiting grandparents, etc.

The days are isolating, but the evenings are wonderful. I love it when Rob and the kids are home. Kudos to my awesome husband. Thanks to him, I've been going on walks every evening, often accompanied by my kids or Rob. Rob and I got to go on our first post-baby date (with said baby in tow) last night to see the Sacred Gifts Carl Bloch exhibit at BYU. It was lovely. Sometimes we sneak take-out late at night after the kids are in bed. And watching Rob hold Nathan and play with him makes my LIFE. Seriously. I've also loved watching the Olympics while I feed Nathan.

Wish us luck in a month when we start 3 soccer teams...when I'll be longing for these quiet days!

Having a baby is definitely a life change. It's a good change, once you find that new normal.