2 Parenting (or any relationship, really) Ideas

I recently had two thoughts on how to be a better parent . Thought I'd share them here.

1. Serve your children. I know you are probably thinking "isn't that all I do? Picking up dirty laundry, shuttling to activities, providing snacks and meals, making lunches...and with very little recognition." Often, I go through the motions of motherhood with an almost grudging acceptance. There is no doubt that I love my children, but I do not love a lot of the grunt work that goes with being a mother. I occasionally get lost in the grunt work, worrying about the state of my house or the piles of laundry. Recently I have spent more time noticing these little people that look to me and what miracles they are. I've noticed their sweet smiles, their spunky attitudes, and how hard they try. I notice how quick they are to forgive and how quickly they bounce back from making mistakes. I notice that they are often a reflection of me - my attitude and behavior. I notice that they crave love and recognition just like I do. I also have noticed that they love to serve me. They like to surprise me with a note (like this gem)

 or unload the dishwasher without being asked. My daughter likes to make me fruit salad, my youngest son always asks me if it is okay before he climbs on my lap because he doesn't want to hurt my aging back,and my oldest son even offered to quit karate just so I didn't have to drive so often (don't worry, he's still in it). They are mindful of me in a consistent and loving manner, perhaps in a way that only a child can be. 

This brings me back to my parenting idea. I want to serve my children. Not serve them because I have to, but I want to serve them without the desire for recognition or reward. I want to serve them because I love them and I want them to FEEL that love, not just through words, but through my actions. I want to share with them the gift I receive from God on a regular basis -- the knowledge that he loves me. I tried it today. I slipped a note in a lunchbox, raced a child to school, & sent off a child with a huge hug where there could have been sharp words. I even did the dishes for a child, just because. And guess what? I feel awesome. 

Rob once heard a woman call into a radio station as the radio announcers were talking about the endless piles of laundry that pile up. Her solution to not getting stressed out by laundry was to think of each person as she sorted, washed, and folded their clothes. Think of them, wish well for them, and focus on the reasons she loved that person and was happy to serve them. He told me about this and I sort-of waved it off as an odd idea. But guess what? It works! As I wander around the house picking up chess pieces and wiping up spilled milk, I feel so blessed to associate with these little people who are so unique and have so many talents. What a gift! I'm starting to realize that one day life will be quieter. The laundry will be easy to keep up with, the milk won't get spilled as often, and the clock hitting 3:30 won't be so eventful. 

I'm grateful to God. I'm grateful for the gift of these children in my life. I'm grateful that we get to start over each day. I'm grateful for the lessons I keep learning as I learn to focus more outside myself. I'm especially  grateful for the lessons my children teach me about resilience, love, and forgiveness.

My other thought will have to wait -- I have to run. Stay tuned for part 2.